"Pas
perjalan pulang, aku menghitung berapa kali aku menyebrang jalan. Lima. Lima
kali itulah rasanya aku pengen menabrakkan diriku ke kendaraan yang
lewat". -Khairunnisa Rahma NovitasariTanggal
7 Januari kemarin jadi hari 'almost' terburuk dalam semester ini. Kenapa aku
harus bete', PMS, nangis, etc sampai menyebabkan teman2ku jengkel. Cuma gara2
perkataan sepele yang dilontarkan beberapa teman, tapi bersamaan, yg membuatku
kehilangan kendali mengeluarkan airmataku (not to mention ya, itu aku nangisnya
di tempat umum, baca: warung lesehan). Rasanya campur aduk: marah, malu,
pusing juga. Tapi nggak ada yg lebih menyakitkan hati daripada seorang teman,
well... If she still considers me as a friend, mengingat menjadi teman butuh
mutual agreement, berkata bahwa dia tak mengenaliku lagi. Entah operasi plastik
apa yg kujalani, huehehehe. If it was because of unread messages on BBM, my
harsh comments, or even the profil picture I insisted not to use, pardon me, I
don't understand. I guess I was just membalas dendam apa yg orang lain telah
lakukan pada saya, pada anda.
And...how am I supposed to say sorry, if you don't
even want to look at me? Am I being punished now? I cried a river, you know...Honestly, to say that you don't know me anymore...
Isn't that too much? Because even if it was a joke, I can't take it.After all the things we have done together...I even
remember everything I've done with each of you guys...how could you...?I remember, on the first semester, when we were asked
to get all biodata and signatures from our almamater, berdua aja minta ttd
anak2 di kantin m3 padahal gak kenal siapa2. On third semester, you gave me
surprises; a photo in a frame, Choki holding a banner saying happy birthday to
me. What a nice gift! I was nineteen only! On fourth semester, in Nadhir's
class. Something about 'Haiku' and we wanted to ask Mr. Choki, but Nadhir
wouldn't let us. How I hated him at that time... On this very semester, how you
hate me because of one event...I'm sorry...I've done things I couldn't have done if it was not
with you, guys...Chasing Mr. H to get to his house, to greet him while
he was holding his son, how cute...And not to put things aside, you accompany me through
hard times; when I had to re-take that particular subject, there is always
someone with me, we're fighting together, thanks...I don't know about you, but I know about me one thing:
it would be the most regretful thing in the world if I hadn't known you.
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